THIS
Bamboo Bones
→ The Ask Box
✧ NYC
✧ Vegetarian/Vegan
✧ Ginger
✧ Eating Disordered
✧ Vegetarian/Vegan
✧ Ginger
✧ Eating Disordered
"And you have your bamboo bones, nervous energy, blind ambition, skin of your teeth. What god doesn't give to you, you've got to go and get for yourself." --Rise Against
✯ Highest 185+
✯ Currently 127.8
✯ Eventually 119
✯ Ultimately Happiness.
→ The Ask Box
‘Sup, relapse? v
Yeah, I’m back. 3 months of recovery, kind of. Not even. Oh well. I’m back. I got fat.
Gonna get skinny again.
Let’s do this shit.
Ate 550 calories today; feel like a cow. Awesome. Also currently considering confessing to a friend. Fucking terrified.
So I’m thinking I’ll try not to purge for this whole week; or at least six days.
I’m *hopefully* staying over at the boy’s house (!) next Saturday night…… I don’t want to be a nasty dirty fat bulimic when I get there.
Skinny & pure. I’ll earn that happiness. I’ve got my schedule packed for the next few days so I won’t even be home enough to b/p; hopefully. I don’t know if my body would hold up for another. I’m covered head to toe in “tells,” so I’m pretty sure he knows.
- calloused knuckles
- bite marks on my fingers and the backs of my hands
- cuts around my mouth
- cuts in my mouth
- cuts on my tongue
- acne
- goshdarnit guiz doesn’t this sound like such fun?!
It’s been a day since I last weighed myself and I’m nervous as fuck.
If it’s under 133 I’ll be a happy girlie. But I think it’s gonna be more. Fuck weekends and no supervision and unstructured time and bulimia. This shit makes me fat.
hmm. the one night i’m really thinking about recovering (kinda) good ol’ kimya shows up on my dash. funny, universe.
reblogged for kimya, though.
not for recovery.
(Source: hardcoreforhardcore, via cassiecantsmile-deactivated2011)
“People who develop eating disorders often live ‘out of order.’ They have difficulty trusting their instincts. Their relationships make them feel anxious instead of supported. So instead of engaging with the outer world from a position of internal strength, they end up living, in effect .. outside in.”
— Gaining (via amincer)
(Source: betterthanbones, via dietandcigarettes)
Reblog if you’re a nobody on Tumblr but you’re still very proud of your blog.
(Source: oh-jakeryan, via alati-moelda-deactivated2012031)
That awkward saturday night you spend writing your suicide note….
I got disconcertingly close today. I’m actually not sure how that makes me feel.
I watch the Food Network all the time; it makes me feel like there are other people in the world that think about eating as often as I do.
“Too large, too much, never enough. I stood on the scales 7 times this morning. Each time the same number. Each time a ridiculously desperate longing to see the numbers change. Lower, lower, lower, less. The numbers are never small enough. I’m beginning to realise that they never will be. Even if I weighed zero, nothing, the perfect number, I would still be striving to go further, push myself harder. Negative numbers. Death. I’ve sunk too deep into this disorder and I no longer know how to find my way back. I always feel too large, too much. Yet ironically I never feel like I’m enough.”
—
(via sickly-thin)
(via dietandcigarettes)
